Figurines
by Steve Hawthorne

"Not again. I know what I'm talkin about, Steve. You don't think I'm smarter than nine, out of ten, people? Bet your ass I am. And I don't like the silver bars. The silver bars don't speak to me. No more silver. BUT . . . wanna make money? . . . Royal Worscester. Figurines. Lotta money to be made . . . yup . . . that's the way to make money -- believe me -- I know what I'm talking about . . . actually . . . I'm somewhat of an expert on ceramic figurines; yup -- huh? . . . the coins? . . . well . . . those fooled alotta people -- I should've known those communist bastards couldn't be trusted . . . Red Chinese -- master copiers -- those fooled alotta people . . . oh yeah, yup . . . but the gold . . . hey what's that you got? . . . hey, let me see that . . . .that's a helluva deal on cigarettes . . . Steve . . . you oughta do that -- five bucks a carton? . . . c'mon; shit; I could make money on that, you bet -- sell em for four times that; . . . naw . . . I got so much rollin on the dice right now . . . this whole thing could be comin down . . . I took a $10,000 crap shoot; and the price of gold is set by the World Market . . . right? . . . its gotta go up a couple hundred bucks before I can make money on it -- oh, I got other stuff . . . like the golf clubs . . . I was sittin in Denny's the other day and I saw this guy paying his bill . . . I knew the guy was a golfer . . . I can tell . . . so I yell to the guy: HEY! SIR! I can tell that, you, are a golfer! His family was already outside the door waiting for him . . . but I had the guy . . . for about ten minutes -- and he almost bought the clubs. Ah-huh. Cigars. You should smoke cigars. I'm surprised that you're not in to the complexities of a good cigar. Nicaragua. The best cigars. You can retire very well down there -- expatriate paradise, yup -- be cheap to go down there -- look at your fingers . . . man . . . those nicotine stains on your fingers . . . hope you're gonna be around long enough to write those stories. Those fingers are brown. Bet your lungs look like that. Ah-huh. Beautiful Joe. That was a good book. Remember that story? About the dog? The guy cuts his ears and tail off ? That one got me oh yeah, but Steve, Steve, I'm tellin you Steve -- you wanna make money? Here's how ya do it . . . I'm gonna tell you how to make money. Ready? . . . figurines."

Steven Hawthorne: Started out as a wild kid in rural Massachusettes. Settled with my young wife Doris, at Boundary, on the upper Columbia, in 1974. Over the years I`ve worked as a logger, cowboy, fishing guide, reforestation contractor, machinist, and boat builder - among other things. I began writing articles for fishing magazines in the late 70`s, and my interest in writing grew from that. I am a graduate of Long Ridge Wtiter`s Group, and now spend winters in Morro Bay, California, where I am a contributing writer for the Rogue Voice literary journal.

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